Queen of Wands: King of Fail

Hello, and welcome to another edition of "Webcomics and their Failings!"

Today we are going to review a pretty well known webcomic known as The Queen of Wands.

I referenced this comic earlier when I was reviewing Kate Beaton: The Goddess of Webcomics to exemplify a comic that might have good writing but had god awful art. Of course, I never gave QoW a chance now did I? The art was so off putting that I decided I didn't want to give it the time of day but didn't want to criticize that which I was uncertain about. So I read it and I'm sorry to say I was...really really disappointed.

I am a fan of Punch N' Pie because this is the rare Slice of Life comic that is actually interesting as it is very story driven and twenty/thirty somethings like myself easily relate to it. Believe it or not, the same person wrote both but only illustrated Queen of Wands which perplexes me as PnP is funny and interesting and QoW is anything but.

1. Writing

Sigh....Aeire must have been using QoW as practice for PnP although it's difficult to see much similarity. Typically a 4 panel comic, it often included the "nothing" panel. A panel in which nothing happens or there is a pause. The "nothing" panel is unnecessary I know the purpose of this is for effect, but the same could be done in a three panel comic with far more substance and far less unnecessary exposition to set it up; it would've been much better had it only been 3 panels. Panel 1 for exposition, panel 2 for the climax and panel 3 for the punchline. However she has Panels 1+2 for exposition, making the second panel unnecessary. This adds for a bulky and boring read.

In addition to the needless panels, the writing just isn't that funny, the punchlines are lame or otherwise nonexistent. Sometimes, less is more Aeire. Many of the comics would be funnier with a bit less explanation or reaction afterwards. It has also been realised that this comic started off with punchline in mind, and then switched to drama. Comedy and then drama. Hmm...I think I have stated before that it's always a bad idea to start off with one type of comic and then end with another because then you get the readers going "Uh....I didn't sign up for this" because they didn't and you are giving them something they don't want. That being said, it's possible it switched to that because she wanted to go in a different direction with the characters. If this was the case, it would have been better to END the comic section that was humorous and start it again with the same characters, but with a different genre in mind.

2. Art

Ugh

Ugh

UGH

Bad bad BAD art. Probably one of the worst artists I have seen. Colors are flat and painful to look at, characters are rough and not in a good way. Everyones' profile looks like badly drawn animu. with the face on depiction of eyes looking very similar to the profile of eyes. I'm pretty sure most of this was done in Photoshop, and not well. Lines are too thick, the hair looks like its a heavy lump of colored clay on each of the characters heads and sharp at that. Ugh...hurts my eyes. Bad..ew..

3. Lame

Something that I want to touch into here is how the author made her character clearly more beautiful and attractive than all the others. All the other women have plain hair and drab colors whereas her characters coloring is vibrant and attractive with long lashes and luscious red hair. Give me a fucking break. It's obvious you think you're hot shit but let me tell YOU something howabout: You're not.
All around, the comic is just lame. I kind of see where the better writing picked up towards the end, and then she went on to make Punch N' Pie which was much better.


More things that make this webcomic fail:
Poor structure
Boring
Immature writing
TEH COLORS OMG

Grade? D

Slice Of Life: Slit My Wrists

As a wise boyfriend once said to me, "Yeah, I went to a panel with [Jennie Breeden (from The Devil's Panties)] and while her comic sucks she did give some really good advice: 1. Put at least 4 years into a webcomic for it to succeed 2. Be consistent and 3. Update frequently." Thanks a lot Ian, you insinuated that not only will my blog probably fail (4 years...what?!) but that I am inconsistent and don't update frequently. Luckily this isn't a webcomic, it's a blog! Ruleseses dn't aplie to me liek speling or gramer or updatn.

I tell you what though, after some thought, I realize that boy is RIGHT. While I am NOT a webcomic I should still be consistent! I made a post, waited a couple weeks, then did two in one week back to back. I'm going to try a schedule of updating at least every month. I might do more than that if there is a) a demand (unlikely) or b) I find a webcomic that I need to disparage right away (far more likely).

Slice of my Own Life! I'm interesting....right?

Something that has been picking up speed in the webcomic world like a speeding locomotive that needs to crash into the proverbial brick wall are "slice of my own life" comics. These comics are based on the genre of comic known as "slice of life"
"slice of life" : A comic based on the life of a real person, most likely the creators of the comic.
"slice of my own life": A comic about the life of the creator.
Those are the basic definitions of the two variants. The "slice of life" category of comics make the comics unique because the characters are only based on real people, which gives the creator(s) the freedom to alter reality as they see fit to make it more entertaining or special from other webcomics of the same genre. The "slice of my own life" comics are purely autobiographical. A "slice of life" comic usually starts out as a "slice of my own life" comic because it is "safe". The creator(s) already know the people they are putting into the comic which are usually them with different names (sometimes). What makes these comics different is that as they get the hang of things (i.e. making a webcomic), they make it more interesting by bending reality and it becomes a "slice of life" comic which in turn usually means it will be successful in some form or fashion.
Comics that start and stay "Slice of my own life" are boring. This is because the creators think that everyone will think they are interesting, and they won't have to do any creative work because people will just love love love the comic because it's on the internet and they can get famous for just being them.

Alas, some "slice of my own life" comics think they are "slice of life" comics. Example: No one is going to by that there is a robot in the future who has serious girl problems and bad halitosis. Everyone will know it is you. You are boring and sad. Adding the bells and whistles of an altered reality doesn't make up for the fact that your character is based on a real person (can't relate + complicated = boring!) and therefore has character limitations. No one wants to read about you going through blah school with your blah friends doing blah blah blah and then waking up the next day and doing the same thing becuase it's boring and no one can relate to something so specific as your particular school with your particular friends doing something specific in specific places.

Advice

How to make a pure "slice of life" comic:

1. WHAT A GREAT CAST! THEY'RE JUST LIKE ME AND MY FRIENDS *ADDS TO FAVORITES*
Make your characters believable, but not TOO believable.
Emphasize a characters physicality, personality and especially a grace or flaw.
Examples:
Fiona is beautiful and slender (physical) frequently nice (personality), however SHE NEVER BATHES (flaw!).
Brad is big and fat (physical) generally grumpy and irritable (personality), but has a secret love of unicorns (grace!).
Go with this basic formula to create characters that seem "real" but not "too real".

2. I don't like you very much, therefore I'm going to stop reading your comic *CLICKS ON X*.
Don't make characters "too real".
Characters that are "too real" probably "are real" and the readers know this. Don't treat your readers like they are idiots. No one is going to buy that a robot has girl problems and halitosis.
Generalizations of people (archetypes) are what allows the reader to relate to characters. It makes the characters interesting because they are general enough for readers to relate to rather than a person with "too many" qualities. The more specific you are about a person or character and the more complicated they seem, the less people relate because it becomes more apparent that the character is not, in fact a character, but a real person.

3. Soooo...there are sentient robots that look like people? How come we never see one?!I don't like unexplained references very much, therefore I'm going to stop reading your comic *CLICKS ON X*.
Does your world have talking cars and flying chairs? Then please elaborate. Don't leave out the world! The world is something that is never ever "too" detailed. That is something you should be at liberty to be creative about. Is your world this world? Then explain or show where they live so that your readers have an idea of where to push the pin in in a map. Or if you want to be general about where they live so it's as if the characters could live down the street from the reader, don't forget to get them outside to show this. In short: Don't forget the environment!

4. It WAS about Tina and Skylar getting married and moving to Chicago, but now it's about Dave and Jason fighting crime. I don't like Dave or Jason very much, and I don't care about them fighting crime therefore I'm going to stop reading your comic *CLICKS ON X*.
What's it going to be about? Video games? Relationships? Art? Pick a general theme and stick to it! You can add more sub themes as you choose If you deviate from the original theme, you will lose your audience.

These are just basic rules to go by. Don't forget a varied group dynamic and good dialogue. Dialogue and character interactions are what a "Slice of life" comic is all about.

The bottom line of this post is this: Don't do a "slice of life" comic. You'll try to do it but it'll probably end up being "slice of my own life". There are too many out there trying to be Penny Arcade (video games) or XKCD (math/relationships) or Questionable Content (indie bands) ect. Do something origional! Fill in a niche that hasn't been filled or that doesn't get a lot of attention. If you do happen to do a "slice of life" make it fresh, make it interesting, and above all, make it unique.

TOMORROW!

A REAL REVIEW I PINKY SWEAR!

The Devil's Panties: Mystery and Mediocrity

Getting in to stride here, I will try to post a review T- TH just like different comics! Although I don't think I'll ever run out of webcomics to discuss, I may come back time and again to certain ones to point out the strengths and weaknesses as well as improvements, declines and advances.

Today I am posting about The Devil's Panties as seen here.

The reason for the title of the entry is mostly because this webcomic manages to baffle me in many ways. It has good art and bad writing, appreciation for readers unless they try to help. I see this creator at almost every con I go to on the eastern seaboard but don't know anyone who likes this comic. I do not understand these dichotomies. ON TO THE REVIEW! WHOOSH!

1. Writing

It's lackluster at best. I haven't even laughed one time at any of the jokes because they're just plain not funny. This is another case of an artists talent absolutely wasted. She's not the best artist I've seen but she's definitely good. It doesn't matter though because the writing doesn't make you want to stick around and find out how good because it's, well, lame. Some of it is lame because the punchline and art don't match.
Here is an example of what I mean about not matching.I guess the character was laughing? Squealing? Joyously about to sneeze? I am also confident she did this just to have 4 panels.
It's a little too boring for my taste, and not funny enough to warrant reading further.

2. Art

As boring and humorless as her writing is, her art is pretty good. I don't object to the posts of the figures she drew in class when she was in art school, as I am a big fan of charcoal renderings.
I also appreciate the black and white scale with an occasional color going on. It's creative and original. She should illustrate and someone else should write. That'd make for a GREAT comic.

3. Uh...what?

"yes I fucking know I can't spell. Do you think that it could POSSIBLY have escaped my notice after 12 YEARS of special education, resource classes, and private tutors?! because if it did then the CONSTANT reminder and LIFE LONG ridicule SURE AS HELL keeps me fucking awair!! "

So what you're saying is that everyone needs to accept that you can't spell yet you decide to pursue a livelihood by illustrating and writing a webcomic. Heaven forbid you get someone to check your work.
It was #3 that really cinched it for me. I might have spent more time on this webcomic but I was completely turned off by this immature and venomous rant. If she, Jennie Breeden, can't take the time to click on spell check or get someone to review her writing, then I can't take the time to read her webcomic, decent art or no. It would be in her best interest to take the "spelling!" rant down if she wants to get new readership and respect.


Other things that make this webcomic meh:
Many inside jokes
Situations without context
Unrelatable even if you're into 'the scene'
Mediocre writing

Final Grade? C- to D

I can't decide between C- and D because I think one of the worst things you can do besides having a terrible comic is to lash out at your fan base. It shows not only a lack of maturity but a lack of appreciation. It's pretty disgusting and unprofessional.

POSTPONE YOUR SUICIDE TILL AFTER MY NEWEST POST PLEASE!

Kate Beaton : The Godess of Webcomics

Yes, I know what you are thinking.
You are thinking "Why didn't you post about her sooner, Katie?"
Well I'll tell you:
I'm moving
I'm moving into a place an hour away.
I'm moving into a place an hour away with my boyfriend
I'm moving into a place an hour away with my boyfriend and everyone is trying to nickle and dime us/screw us over. Don't worry, in the end it shall be they who are the screws and us who are the Phillips heads of justice.
But it's cool tho cause we gots peeps to help us (humans not marshmallows...though the rush of sugar may help)!

At any rate lets get on with it!

This is her site

It's just 'katebeaton.com' as the title for now but soon it's going to be "Hark! A Vagrant!" or at least that's what she claims. Don't let us down. Don't let us down Kate. We'll be watching. Watching...you. Perhaps you'll be washing some dishes, or playing a video game, or even pooping, and you'll think you're alone; content in your own little happy world of fat ponies and Victorian carolers. It will be then at your most vulnerable that you'll catch something out of the corner of your eye: a movement of something shadowy, dark...evil even. You'll dart your eyes to the location and cry out "Who's there?!" but there will be nothing there but the echo of your own panic. That's us Kate. It's us watching you poop.

Why do I like her comics so damn much? I suppose it's the history buff in me combined with my love for all things absurd, and she's a perfect combo of these two things. Now let me "get my list on" so to speak and list the reasons why she excels at webcomictry (word? maybe!).

1. Writing

I know I've said it a billion times: The writing makes or breaks a comic.
Art can too, but to a much lesser degree. Shitty art doesn't always mean shitty comic, but a good comic with off putting art can drive you away. However, if a writer gets smart and gets someone else to draw the comic, the results can be great.

In Kate's case, the writing is what makes this comic something I come back to over and over. Her intelligence and wit are immediately appearent in nearly all her comics.
...I used the word nearly so it's still applicable.
Even her comics that don't reference any sort of historical event, period or person are still laugh-out-loud funny. She is creative and has the talent to convey that through her comics and writing, something not all artists can do.

2. Art

Her art is unique, and that's not supposed to be a euphemism for "craptacular".
It is simplistic yet detailed and her use of lines is what really brings the frames together.
One thing I want to point out that she does better than almost any other comic I've seen is emotion through expressions.

Scared: http://www.katebeaton.com/Site/More_Nonsense.html (omgshoes)
Smug: http://www.katebeaton.com/Site/History_Project_2.html (at least a nice hairdo is named after you)
Imploring: http://www.katebeaton.com/Site/History_Project.html (Not again, Margaret)

And there are many other complicated expressions that she accurately portrays through her simple line art.

3. Talent

She's funny.

I mean what else can you say? When you have all of those things, it makes for a great comic.

Check it out if you haven't already.

Other things that make this webcomic great:
Intelligence
Tongue in Cheek humor
Absurdity
Historical Accuracy

Final Grade? A for Awesome.

WORD TO YO MOMS.

K DAWG OUT

Mediocre Gothboi: Bad

Every once in awhile I will come across a webcomic based on title alone. When this happens, I immediatly judge the content if I can assume that the title reflects what is in store for the reader, and I think everyone else does too.

Titles mean almost everything for a webcomic to be read.

If the title sounds interesting in a link, a potential reader will be more likely to click on it if they:
1. Aren't sure what the title means but think it will be interesting to find out.
2. Can glean from the title what the comic is about and identify.
3. Thinks the title is really retarded but is curious anyway (maybe good art/writing?).
4. Knows the title is retarded but is masocistic and wants to see how terrible it is or thinks that there is an off chance that the title might be ironic (?).

These are just a few of the factors potential readers consider before clickity clicking on the link.
So, you can probably guess which number of potential factors was in effect when I clicked on "mediocre gothboi".

http://gothboi.comicgenesis.com/d/20051214.html


Stumbled across this little gem when looking for "horror" comics and I know what you're thinking.
"But Katie" you say "why are you complaining about this webcomic when it's still not being done?"
See that little 05-06 in the top right corner of the strip? This tells me that it should have been ripped from the e-shelves back in 2006 as soon as it was over, never to mar the lovely world of webcomics again.
"Why does it mar the world of webcomics?!" you ask, your eyes streaming tears of anger and injustice.
I'm pretty sure I can sum it up in a dainty little checklist for your watery eyes to observe (with venom):


1. Writing

I've said this a billion times before to my friends: The writing makes the comic. You can have the most beautiful illustrations in the world, but if you don't find a way to make the illustrations come to life, to have the reader identify with the world you have created, then it will fail. That being said, the writing in this is worse than the illustrations. Proof --- > http://gothboi.comicgenesis.com/d/20060413.html Did that make you laugh? DID IT? No, it didn't, me either, and every single comic is like that in this series. He cannot write humor because he cannot properly convey humor in a situation which is the only tactic he uses. FOR SHAME.

2. Art

Yes, I have seen shittier but this is really, really bad.
How do I know this is bad art?
a. I think he only drew a total of 10 panels and just recycled them for each comic.
b. Can't be bothered to draw clothes, draws an outline if you're lucky.
c. I'm pretty sure he used shit on a stick to illustrate this comic.

3. Title

Yes, I thought it was going to be ironic, but it's serious and that makes me sad. It is mediocre on all levels and it is about a goth 'boi'. Why 'boi' DRE? Probably to make me hate you. Well fantastic, now everyone hates you.

EEEK.
http://gothboi.comicgenesis.com/d/20060418.html
I'm pretty sure you just pooped your pants. That was pretty frightening.
What expression does he constantly have on his face? A smirkpout?


Other things that make this comic suck:
Objectification of women
Bad spelling and grammar
Layout
It's existance

Final Grade? F

UNTIL NEXT TIME

(You can probably take that as a threat)